‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.’ – Jim Rohn
The past few months have been life-changing for me, I’ve started University studying what I love, I’ve started to take my interests more seriously and started creating – something for the longest time I was so scared to do. I started thinking about why things have got better for me, what have I been doing differently? Ultimately, it’s about who I’m investing my time in and it’s no secret that your happiness and success depends heavily on the people you surround yourself with.
“Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere.”
We will constantly be told what we can or can’t do, or what’s good or bad, or what’s acceptable or unacceptable. I don’t care about any of this anymore. I will happily create whatever I can and want to without a care in the world.
I’ve ended certain friendships for a number of reasons, some because they were simply unhealthy and causing a negative impact in my life, and some because they had no substance. I’m not saying, don’t be friends with people unless you share the same interests because that’s impossible and you need variation. However, I personally don’t feel like it’s right to surround yourself with people who don’t share any of the same morals, choices, values… there’s no common ground and in the long run, it’s likely there will be some kind of dealbreaker disagreement that will bring your relationship to an end anyway – or you’ll just get sick of each other.
And you have to remember, your environment affects you heavily; your mood, your choices. You have to be selfish and respect yourself; what’s the point in devoting your precious time to those you don’t make you happy or inspire you? This applies to romantic relationships, friendships and family.
Start by asking yourself a few questions (Credit to Leo Widrich)
- Who are the 5 people in your life that you spend time with? As in, if your day has 24 hours, how many of those hours are spent with which people. (I’m guessing amongst people will be some members of your family, your spouse, co-workers and some close friends.) Write those 5 people on a piece of paper. (It’s ok if it’s less than 5.)
- Once you have a list of those 3-5 people, ask yourself this: Who are they? What do they do with their lives? How ambitious are they, how successful have they been, how happy, optimistic, and enthusiastic are they?
- Evaluate carefully if those people will really be those that will help you get to the next level you want to get to. Do they push you forward when you come to them with new ideas, no matter what? Or do they tell you that what you have in mind won’t work? Will they keep you going once the birds pick up your seeds, once your seeds fall on shallow or thorny ground?
- Make a choice of who in your list you want to continue spending time with. Don’t be afraid if none or only 1 or 2 amongst your 5 people today meet the standard of excellence you want to set for yourself. Keep going, decrease the time you spend, and increase the amount of time you keep your eyes looking for people that you want to have as one of your 5 closest people.
Trust your instincts, your body will always tell you the truth. You don’t need anyone you feel uneasy around, or makes you feel unrelaxed.
Yes, you should be harsh, yes, you might get lonely, but yes, you are likely to be more successful and happy in the long run.